Blog Post 12 of 12

My advice to writers in WSC 1 is to write often, and if given the opportunity, write what you like to write about. It is easy to crank out mindless junk and get away with it, but such a manufacturing stupor will not make you a better writer. Only by writing about things you enjoy can you discover how you write.

My second piece of advice is to only accept criticism after carefully evaluating it. You should listen to criticism, since it at least attempts to help you. Never nod eagerly after criticism, saying "yeah, ok, right" and looking like a thoughtless puppet. I always take time to consider criticism before inserting it in my own writing. Now, if you truly heeded my advice, you won't listen to a word I said.

Blog Post 11 of 12

I don't think the four-letter word projects qualify as writing. Writing is basically the act of inscribing letters onto a document. The four-letter word project was a composition, a piece that attempts to mimic writing or evoke the same thoughts that writing does, but this composition cannot be defined as writing. This does not mean the project had no value, but rather that it was a video or a slideshow that was compiled of all pictures and a single word, and this is not writing. I am writing currently, placing sequences of letters to form words, sentences, paragraphs and thoughts. Our projects were made in an attempt to replicate a verbal argument non-verbally, a proposition that had no option but to only partially succeed, and it could only partially succeed because the project was not made from writing.

Blog Post 10 of 12

Rodney Jones is arguing about the impulsive nature of humans and how we, as a species, tend to discard things that we value in fits of excessive emotion. It is the occasional  of people to behave in an irrational manner and blindly throw away the things that we enjoy. Jones then makes the point of the instant regret people have immediately after this discarding of the beloved. It is only when something is absent that we miss it. It ties in rather neatly with the idea of "you don't know what you have until it's gone."

Blog Post 9 of 12

When I put on text, I am generally quite oblivious to the possibility of people going through the process of reading my shirt. This mental detachment from my clothing occurs for a large spectrum of reasons, most of which can be traced back to my personality. I do not want to classify myself as a careless character who throws on whatever clothes are available, but I must admit that I do mindlessly pull on t-shirts while becalmed in the doldrums of a weekday morning. I am an inattentive person of fashion, conditioned by my own sleepiness to disregard clothing as anything but a fabric to prevent my arrest for public indecency, or a series of devices to preserve my own heat.

If I woke up like some people, bounding happily from my bed with an exuberant smile and a jaunty stride, perhaps I would consider my choices of clothing and their perspective texts. Instead, I curse loudly, stumble around and rub my eyes intermittently, and all thoughts of clothing are erased from my mind. So I apologize for my clothing dullness, but I just can't help myself.

Blog Post 8 of 12

Is it true that flexibility of voice leads to flexibility of all things?

Yes it does. You can relate to a more vast and diverse amount of people. (Drawing of a flower)

You can make them feel more comfortable by speaking like them and understanding them. (Smiley face)

It can grant you the eligibility to reach out to more people and appeal to more audiences.

Blog Post 7 of 12

It is very clear that this writer was influenced by her writing implement, the Crayon, (which along with Legos is the staple of all childlike instinct) and this influence is made distinct by a few casual drawings lightly littered in varying lilac tones across the page. She has drawn a flower and a smiley face to help emphasize her argument, and this increase in expressiveness makes her writing framed by happy images and actually changes the tone of the argument. In a feat that I could certainly not accomplish, the writer makes her argument lighter and gentler with the assistance of a few positive images. The writing is good because the writer hits a few solid points in the brief time she has. While simple, the language is straightforward and doesn't fiddle around with superfluous phrasing, making it both convincing and easy to read.

Blog Post 6 of 12

Twitter is populated by people who have a vague, unknown, or nonexistent audience. If I had a genuine twitter account I would probably not wonder about my audience too much, since I think that twitter is a kind of self-satisfying munching. I think twitter can be a viable tool in terms of arranging certain events for mass audiences. To be honest, I think the purpose of microblogging is to create a false aura of self-importance. This video is a bit harsh with its criticism, but the gist of the message remains the same with me.

Blog Post 5 of 12

The difference in rhetoric between presidents and poets can be identified through the audience each is addressing. Barack Obama is cognizant of his audience as an unimaginably enormous, general mass of laymen, professors and restaurant managers that are roped into the election regardless of their interest. A poet's audience is not a captive one, instead it is a group of followers and critics that are willingly viewing or listening to the material. It makes sense that the president generalizes his rhetoric into simpler, stronger, ironclad practices, since his audience may only be just learning his points or looking to pry open the rhetorical armor and tear him apart. A president's rhetoric will be founded upon basic repetitive statements and simple, muted transitions. A poet has the liberty to choose any language he wants, and address issues in a controversial, flamboyant, or even obscene, manner-certainly not the kind of enthusiastic outspoken technique a president wants to deliver.

Zadie Smith is advocating "tentatively" as she correctly puts it, that a president that is loosed from the doublespeak and blackwhite policies that pervade American politics can make an enormous difference. She actually wants a president to speak like a poet, freely and with impunity. A president that could express actual opinions could outline his actual desires in front of the public, to approval and disapproval. The relative transparency of the presidential would lend increase everyone's trust in government, regardless of political preference.

Blog Post 4 of 12

The author continuously slights being "an awkward, in-between thing" (pg. 181) and seems to favor being boldly on one side of the spectrum or the other. She praises Barack Obama for his duality of language but takes extreme care to point out that doubt is cast onto Obama from all sides. Would Zadie Smith agree with the idea of a genuinely happy medium?

The title of Smith's essay is "Speaking in Tongues", a biblical reference, yet she makes no mention of the many potential didactic stories that are found in the Bible. Is there something preventing Smith from tapping into the huge seam of biblical lore available to her?

Smith initiates part two of her essay with "but I haven't described Dream City" (pg. 184)- a bold insistence that seems nearly pushy, as if she's holding you from running out of the door.  Starting a sentence with "but" defies most writing convention and to begin an entire portion of a work with the word borders on audacious swagger. To me this move came off as a bit too edgy. It is also entirely possible I am missing something. Why does Smith kick off the second part of her essay in such noticeable fashion?

The author goes on a tangent about the dual nature of being black. She claims that "black reality has diversified . It's black people who talk like me, and black people who talk like Lil' Wayne" (pg. 188). Why does Smith acknowledge that by allowing for these contrasts, she is downplaying the duality of a black person and instead creating two different people who happen to be black? It seems to go against her general point.

Smith makes some imperative statements in her essay that she does not want to back up by herself, so she throws the reader and society into the mix as well. She insists that "we consider pragmatists to be weak. We consider men of balance naive fools" (pg. 191). I cannot help but notice that this incorporation of "we" occurs after she acknowledges Obama's use of the word, saying "he was also drawing us in with him" (184). Is she consciously using "we" in the hope of this tactic being noticed and appreciated, or is it incidental?

In the last paragraph Smith uses the word "hope" half a dozen times. Is she trying to make a connection to Obama's campaign?

Blog Post 3 of 12

What I really think about the writing space that twitter affords is that it is immensely frustrating. Intellectual luminaries like Joe Budden and Lindsay Lohan are only allowed to express opinions and brilliant insights in a mere 140 characters. Don't these people know I need more than that? Srsly.

Twitter is 2 writing wat a 4 yr old's best punch is 2 a Joe Frazier hook. They can b compared, but it wud be foolhardy 2 do so. Twitter does hav merits. It is a gr8 way 2 get information out about concerts, upcoming book signings, demonstrations and tv shows. Unfortunately, twitter is 2 often used as a digital podium 2 divulge hi-minded ideas to the groveling, inferior masses. I rlly think that there r better ways to rite and communicate. Twitter isn't a website from Hell, sent by demons 2 make ppl dumber. It is also not a grand gift to humanity. It is just a slightly annoying, slightly interesting website that does its job (uttering short blurbs of quick information to followers) very well.

Blog Post 2 of 12

I'm not sure why so many people wear texts on their clothing and on their skin. Perhaps they feel that such portable writing serves to express individuality or a particularly ardent belief. When a person wears a shirt declaring "Just Do It" or "Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body"it sends a certain signal about that person. I wear simple t-shirts for simple reasons. When I am wearing a shirt with the Boston Red Sox logo proudly emblazoned across the front, it exudes the rather obvious fact that I am a Red Sox fan. The sweatshirt I am wearing at this very instant says "Hofstra University" which makes some sense, since I am a Hofstra University student. People wear shirts for the same reasons ants use antennas-to glean information about their fellow creatures.

Tattoos and t-shirts are nearly limitless in their variety and this variety is dictated by the unique qualities that people have. Witty, crude, romantic, and meaningless text can all be expressed through clothing and ink, and I presume a person loves having the ability to declare his or herself as an individual without saying a word.

Blog 1 of 12

Robert Hass' mild lament in "The Problem of Describing Trees" is direct and simple. He is writing poetry on how difficult it is to write about trees, and his argument would appear to be that the actions of a tree supersede the English language and possibly any language. He emphasizes that certain slices of nature are above description. Though people are tempted to write about trees and other aspects of nature, they probably shouldn't, because it is not possible to do so with entire success. The rather quirky tone of the piece is established by the fact that there is a poet proclaiming that his occupation and presumed life's focus is rendered nearly useless by the fundamental simplicity of a tree.

Hass could be addressing two different audiences here. I initially believed he was speaking to the tree, since italics and a separate line would seem to indicate a sense of detachment from the rest of the piece, and that he was really mocking the way many writers and poets try to talk about nature. It did not occur to me that the author could be invoking the reader into a dance, emphasizing his earlier claim that "it is good sometimes for poetry to disenchant us." I suppose that is poetry in the hands of a talented poet-confusing and enlightening readers by tossing up multiple concepts, like a menu with too many choices on it.

Four Letter Word

My four letter word is "fall" because I believe it has many different connotations that can highlight both fantastic and terrible things. I am fascinated by this word because something must be somewhere to fall.

Notecard

Bolton makes an insightful point in Writing Space when he highlights a critical and often overlooked aspect of media-the creator's focus on providing as clear a subject as possible or the opposing side, which tries to make the form of media the true subject of the text. I see this most vividly on television, where blustery political analysts (who shall remain unnamed) magnetize the viewer's focus on themselves. It is interesting that our main media outlet is driven by a ceaseless attempt to sneak across opinions. Now instead of clear points being objectively presented to the audience, there is an unknowing inundation into the presentation itself. This sort of detraction is not necessarily a good thing. If the audience puts their view mainly on the politician, the audience will often forget about the points being made. In reality the points made are the most important part. It is all about the political image.

Coney Island of the Mind

The video on Coney Island of the Mind is very well written. I enjoyed the placement of a decaying obsolete land that arose to stimulate the imagination, and the emphasis on realism laid side to side. The reader's voice actually detracted from the piece a little bit because of the extremely heavy accent, which bordered on parody. He was a very good reader, but unfortunately nearly too native to be taken with full seriousness. The total presentation of the piece was very strong and the writer did an excellent job of employing a variety of stupendous verbs. Sometimes I felt like the language became slightly too sentimental and overdone but for the vast majority of the piece I appreciated the writing.

Another group prezi

This group is claiming that digital text does a better job than tangible text. Their argument is very persuasive and they do a great job of presenting their argument in the form of persuasive digital text, making the argument all the stronger.

Derrida on Writing

Jacques Derrida says he is sometimes afraid to write. I do my best to never be afraid of my writing. I will always try to do my best to convey my point, no matter how the audience may receive my work. If I am intimidated by a reader's reaction my writing will falter. Confidence is the key to strong writing, and I certainly attempt to remain confident.

Visual vs. Writing

Visual images can be as effective as writing, but it is very, very difficult to explain anything in as much detail when you are using a lone image or even a group of images. I will concede that images can occasionally be more emotional and powerful than an essay, but on the whole an essay is substantially more useful.

Our Prezi

http://prezi.com/fqaln2v3vswr/evolution-of-the-writing-machine/

Boy and Girl Terms

Guy-Dude, lad, bro, brother, man, bloke, gent, gentleman, fellow, male, amigo, chum, friend, buddy, chap, dude, chief.

Girl-Gal, lass, sis, sister, female, lady, damsel, chick, dame, broad, miss, doll.

I am peer reviewing a colleague's draft...

My first reaction is that I know this place, and it will be good to see how another person views this place that I have also visited.

I've been thinking about my own draft...

I have to tell you that I feel pretty good about it. I think with a little bit of restructuring it could be a good piece. My style is there, but certain sentences may have to be cut or reordered.

A sentence starts...

A sentence starts out like a nascent garage band. They begin with hope and optimism. Almost all of them end in failure. The ones that don't get more credit than they should for parroting ideas that are not their own. On strikingly rare occasions, a sentence can be simultaneously original and successful.

If these walls could talk

Michael Wesch's video on a stagnant education system is trying to signify how people have not changed education theory since the mid-1800s. The classroom represents a box of limited materials and resources, and the students in this box voice their feelings on a world that they believe is unfair or nearly impossible to    wade through. Wesch is arguing for a change in system and in scene, claiming that proper use of technology in an educational forum will make for a class that is livelier and more focused.

Magazine Ipad Child

The remediation of the world is proven through the child's misunderstanding and confusion regarding the iPad and the magazine. Her recognition of the iPad is distorted the moment she touches the magazine, and she is unable to separate the two. The remediation is interesting considering the actual current transfer that is occurring between print and digital communication. The rhetoric here is that even a child can try to combine these two different media into one, a process that is actually happening due to remediation.

My Audience

My audience is a grandfather. Too kind and gentle to impart true criticism, they burst with platitudes and linger lightly on correction. My audience dotes on me like a prized grandson who has a passable talent for the piano, a talent through which the proud grandfather can easily imagine a Mozart, and everyone else sees an 11-year old child struggling to play an arpeggio. 

Citizens Bank Park

“From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,

Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.” -“Casey At the Bat”

I have been drowning in a world of baseball since my earliest youth, anchored to the bottom of a diamond-shaped lake and perfectly unwilling to save myself from inundation. The most accurate and insightful picture that exists from my childhood is a shot of me, cheerfully rotund and garbed in a pair of ludicrous Red Sox suspenders, beaming into the camera with the twinkly-eyed look of smug self-awareness. I am a baseball fan, and I always have been. I helped teach myself to read by scrutinizing the sports page in The Philadelphia Inquirer and discovering the subtle phonetic intricacies that link “chi” and Chicago.  At the age of seven I quit soccer to focus on my other sports in an unorthodox way-by claiming “I ain’t no Bo Jackson” and refusing to speak any more on the subject. Many children grow out of this obsessive phase and move on in life. I have not. Instead, I have evolved, trading the Inquirer for fangraphs.com, and Bo Jackson for advanced sabermetrics. My burgeoning knowledge of the sport has lent me the terrible weapon of condescension and I wield it mercilessly. A Bucks County native, I am the persistent pilgrim to Citizens Bank Park, a polished jewel that holds in its belly many viruses, a collective plague that distributes baseball folly and arrogance in equally unappetizing servings.  

The trek from my residence in Newtown, Pennsylvania to the stadium in Philadelphia is often marred by the beautifully reckless traffic that pockmarks all large cities, and my friend’s Honda Odyssey is not especially notorious for its remarkable speed and acceleration. This minor motoring inconvenience is never a problem; it allows more time for the discussion of starting pitchers, batting averages, and win streaks. Talk about baseball is the most engaging distraction I know, and somehow, through the twisting labyrinth of our own dialogue, we always end up at the ballpark.

Citizens Bank Park is a gorgeous place, and stands up to the vicious judgment of the harshest ballpark aficionados. It has good seating, a delightfully convenient layout, and beautiful design. The home of the Phillies is the kind of building that baseball owners salivate over. There is really only one problem with this picturesque place, and that is the fans. Before I continue I would like to declare that most fans of any team are good ones, and it is the small minority that gives certain devotees a bad name. It just so happens that this minority in Philly is not so small and particularly outspoken. Loudmouth boors, they clap when opposing players are injured and intentionally vomit on enthusiasts of the Phillies’ opponent. The behavior of this cell of zealots can walk the precarious line between the offensive and the absurd. Driven by a potent concoction of alcohol and stupidity, this contingent of fans takes a particular and foolhardy delight in singling me out as a Red Sox fan and informing me of the various defects of my team, manhood, sexual orientation, and intellect. I am a thick-skinned individual who can take insults, however, slander upon my ballclub is an intolerable sin. I turn around, flip the tables and spoon-feed my foes a knife-sharp dissertation that explains, through statistical and visual evidence, why their brotherly beloved team only merits a fork being stuck in them. Pugnaciously pugilistic disagreements aside, most people do not dog me for being a Sox fan, and the stadium and the sport is worth any amount of verbal barking.

A baseball park can be many things: a cage of unreasonably ardent animals, a massive communal picnic, a cathedral. It has been all of these for me. However, it always has been, most importantly, a place to see baseball, and for this I am thankful.

Citizens Bank Park is not...

Citizens Bank Park is not the slumbering sea. It is an irrational, hectic, heckling ground of fans all desperately attempting to closely emulate their primate ancestors. It trembles and quakes with varying tremors of rage and delight, shaking with fury or gleefully jubilant. Founded on the rock hard core of unshakable zealotry, the park is a monolith to fans of the home team and a tomb to the opponent.

Citizens Bank Park Metaphor List

Citizens Bank Park is not like the Garden of Eden.
It's not a home away from home.
It's not an indeterminate Hell.
It's not a place where a customer can expect realistically priced sustenance.
It's neither a faraway land nor a distant harbor.
It's not a sea of tranquility.
It's not a prison.
It's not the tip of the iceberg.

Citizens Bank Park might be like a temple.
It could be a zoo.
It could be a picnic.
It could be a memory.
It is a ballpark. That's the important thing.

Home is Like...

Home is like, a place where you can go and get attacked by your ferocious, 15-lb dog, and where your own bed feels damn good after time in a dorm.

Prezi Argument on the Evolution of Technology

I liked the use of quotes, it allows the presentation to strengthen its argument with many outside sources. It also has a nice background, which lends itself to a more viewable experience. The argument was well structured and developed.

Taylor Mali Analysis

Taylor Mali's poem regarding the decay of authoritative declarations in the English language is a smart and biting parody that nips at the heels of a society that is probably too cool for its own good. This poem is presented through two different forms of media- one video of him standing in front of an audience, and an interesting presentation in which there was only audio and text from Mali's poem imposed on the screen. The dynamic video of Mali is strong because it shows an animated speaker elaborating on a subject he cares about, an interactive audience that almost serves as a laugh track, and Mos Def. A person can never go wrong with a little bit of Mighty Mos in his or her life. The textual presentation has power through the actual visual conjuring of words, where the text serves to hammer in the main points of Mali's argument in a refreshing way. I think the meaning is emphasized and has more punch with the textual presentation of the material.

Is the Machine using us?

The "Machine" of the Internet is clearly using us. Each day millions and millions of people upload videos to Youtube, update statuses on Facebook, tweet, email, and post. Even now while I write on this blog, I am a part of this "Machine"-a larger, interactive whole that will take my information and opinions and spit them at everybody else who inhabits the Web. This is not a bad thing, but rather a simple evolution of technology and the role of people within this technology.

Trimble on Diction

Of all the topics discussed in John Trimble's chapter on Diction, I can associate most with the topic of "freshness". Keeping a piece refreshing and relevant is a critical aspect of any part of writing. An extensive vocabulary can dramatically assist an author's style and tone, and is often more important than the actual content of an article or essay. In my case especially, I have discovered that my style is best when brisk, and I succeed when I hit points creatively and with original phrasing. Keeping a piece "fresh" is without a doubt a crucial segment of any good writer's arsenal.

Active voice is generally stronger than passive voice because it introduces the subject first and the reader keeps paying attention to the story. I will use passive tense if I believe it lends a different aspect to the style of thought, but usually I try to keep a quick pace and maintain a reader's attention.

Under Armour Commercial Analysis

This commercial can be found here.

A lot of sports equipment commercials attempt to emanate an aura of toughness, a marine-like, stone-faced seriousness that usually is unintentionally comedic. This Under Armour commercial is no exception to the rule.  Even while muscular football players strut around proclaiming "click-clack!" and behemoths of the gridiron heave training sleds all over the place, it is difficult for a person to place him or herself in these "Under Armour shoes" so to speak. Most people are not 250 pounds of sheer muscle, able to bench press twice their weight, and capable of running a 4.5 second forty-yard dash. If a spindly 120-lb 14-year-old is watching this commercial, he should be aware that in spite of the tough guy overtones, wearing Under Armour gear will not suddenly make him NFL eligible.

The lesson here is a rather simple one-try to make understated commercials. Nike has accomplished this with cooler, quieter, black and white affairs that are certainly more subtle than the chest thumping howls of Under Armour. In spite of the pumping testosterone that prevails throughout the commercial, it needs less muscle and perhaps a bit more brains.

Heineken Commercial Analysis

This commercial can be found here. The following paragraphs are to be taken very lightly.

Dear Heineken Marketing Division,

I was shocked and astonished to find that in a recent commercial presented by your esteemed company, you display a young woman and man celebrating with their friends about two things: a walk-in closet filled with clothes and shoes for the women, and a walk-in refrigerator for the men. The women shriek in excitement over the accessories, and the men exult similarly over the beer. My qualms with the commercial are not with the mildly sexist nature of it or the promotion of alcohol, but rather with the poor investment of a walk-in refrigerator.

In my humble experience, when a person comes across a large windfall of money he or she usually spends it on more suitable purchases, such as preposterously unnecessary cars and vastly oversized houses. The presence of a refrigerator loaded chock-full with beer is a terrible example of how to splurge. How will our children ever learn from your advertisement? Instead of displaying an inefficient beer fridge commercials, I suggest more realistic ideas, such as a car or perhaps an exorbitant watch. In any case, while your commercial certainly enumerated on the moderately attractive bits of wealth, I would like to see more gross excess in the future. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Sean T. Williams

AT&T Commercial Analysis

This commercial can be found here.

Many people gripe that in this day and age technology is advancing too rapidly. iPhone generation after iPhone generation chug out of the assembly line, remorselessly pushing civilization forward. Computers accelerate towards even more complexity. With apps, online connections, and GPS, it is evident that phones have joined into the interconnected Web world.

This rather creative commercial was no exception to this trend, but it does have a novel approach. Hansel and Gretel are characters in an old fairy tale, yet here they are merrily trundling through a bustling city. The conflict emerges when the crumbs Hansel and Gretel have been dropping mysteriously vanish, but Gretel, unfazed, whips out her brand new AT&T phone with a GPS connection (apparently Gretel has learned from experience) and the duo skips happily off into the distance.

AT&T is savvily attacking the mother's protective instinct here, as well as displaying how nifty their phones are. Many moms dread the thought of having their child lost in a vast city. While Hansel and Gretel are merely characters from a fable, their button-cute faces can easily be transmitted onto any child, and it would be no stretch of the mother's imagination to envision her own progeny in a similarly sticky situation. This callous marketing tactic has been used in one form or another for fifty years, and the idea has not changed. Only the technology has.

AT&T Questions

1.What city are they in?
2.Where are their parents?
3.How are they in a city in such ludicrous clothing?
4. Why are the clothes so simple but the technology so complex?
5. How did they obtain this phone?
6. How old/responsible are these kids?
7. How did they get to the city?
8. Why are they in the city?
9.Why does no one try to help them out?
10.How do we know it is Hansel and Gretel?

Heineken Questions

1. New money or old money?
2. Why such an extravagant purchase?
3. What country are they in?
4. What language are they speaking?
5. Is this commercial sexist?
6. Why is the sequence the girls and then the guys?
7. Does this commercial achieve the goal of Heineken?
8. How would the girls react to Heineken?
9. Is it a party?
10. Are the visitors friends or acquaintances?
11. How would the guys react to the clothes?
12. Why are these reactions so over the top?

What is My Writing Process like?

My writing process is simple. I think of a good idea or question and I write about it. I have learned from experience that sitting in front of Microsoft Word and thinking really hard is ineffective and stressful. Basketball, wiffle ball, and running have all been useful in transforming my kinesthetic activities into mental ones. It is much easier to address a problem when the mind is not focused directly on it trying to pound out an answer, but rather when it is subtly sneaking around the fringes of idea fermentation.

Pantene Commercial Observation

This commercial can be found here.

The emergence of a butterfly from a chrysalis has symbolized newness, emergence and rebirth for thousands of years. This archetypal icon has since been played out by a Pantene commercial to a nearly ludicrous extent. A young deaf girl slowly transforms before the viewer's eyes from bumbling incompetent on the violin to maestro while Pachelbel's canon resounds triumphantly in the background.  At the moment of climax a butterfly pops out of a chrysalis and the commercial ends with "Pantene...you can shine." The fact that a butterfly represents the Pantene logo renders the entire commercial less of a heartwarming piece and more of a sly attempt at base commercialism.

Such heartwarming nonsense is the stuff of a society and globe that revolves around the fragile facade of outward appearance. Forget that the girl is deaf, forget that she strives for greater things-these are distractions. The true focal point of the commercial is simple: The girl has beautiful hair because she uses Pantene, and look how far she's gotten. Pantene explicitly bears down on the feeble, the meek, and  the unsure members of the female gender and screams at them "look what you can do! You can be like her. But...only if you have gorgeous hair." Apparently it takes more than hard work and self-esteem to become a beautiful butterfly, it also takes a little shampoo.

Focus Freewrite

John Trimble asserts that writers are like warriors, people who defend their claims and attempt to fortify their arguments. It would seem to me that Mr. Trimble, being a writer, has a rather fanciful view of his profession. Maybe some authors do see themselves as strapping defenders of all that is good, but I sure don't. Wouldn't the expression "the pen is mightier than the sword" be a foolish aphorism if writers are suddenly warriors? I believe that all writers write to make a point or statement, some with more vehemence than others, but a military comparison is too far-fetched for my taste. Mr. Trimble can keep his sword and his "warrior" mentality. I'll stick with the pen, thank you.

12 Minute Freewrite

So here I am at Hofstra and I am blogging. Writing online makes me feel scrutinized, as if I were a gladiator in some Roman arena, waiting for the thumbs-up to spare me or the thumbs-down to ruin all that I had worked for. This scrutiny is not necessarily a bad thing, many people work well when placed in a fishbowl. What I do not like about this blog post is the absolute lack of editing available to me during a freewrite. I'm a journalist at heart and all this fancy "write what comes to mind" stuff is difficult to wrap my brain around. Pieces should be structured, orderly and clear. When I write like this it is just vomit, simple sketches in the sand, irrelevant abstract art that i slopped up on a wall without rhyme or reason. My grammar is probably atrocious and it makes me itch to think about what I'm not correcting. A twelve minute 100 yard dash to the finish-I'm not allowed to look back, I just have to keep my legs churning. I was always more of an endurance runner anyway. The aphorism "slow and steady wins the race" doesn't always apply, but it certainly has a point when it comes to my writing style. In any case, I am trying to make this piece as simple and straightforward as possible, attempting to avoid the ramblings that are all too common when I am ordered to embark on a freewriting session. Perhaps this sounds too hostile. I understand and recognize that for many people freewriting is a useful idea to push ideas out of the head and onto the page, but perhaps it is just too messy for my taste. It turns out I can write a substantial amount in a twelve minute time frame, but what I am writing is probably tasteless and bland and poisonous to consume, like chalk. I've never personally consumed chalk but I can imagine how it tastes. At this point I am floundering, drowning in a sea of my own conscious. Though it is not really my conscious, but rather my self-consciousness that makes this article such a tough endeavor for me to pursue.